Less than three

There's something I would like to share to all of the readers out there. 

In my entire life..... well I'm only 20), but 20 is still 20. It's still a number okay? WITH A FREAKING TWO IN FRONT. In my past relationship(s), there're two people whom at that period of time I've had a crush on them, they had a crush on me too. I would count myself lucky because both of them are great men. And I guess it's hard to find someone whom both of them like each other at the same time. True?

Alright. First thing first. I shall define great men. For me, a great men is someone who don't smoke. Cigarette in particular. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that people who smoke are not great men. It's just that smoking is a no-no for me. It's a turnoff for me. You're out of my list if you smoke. I wouldn't mind if they drink (as in alcoholic drinks). I mean I do. Why can't they?  They have good attitude. They're polite and respect the elders. You wouldn't want someone who doesn't call your parents when he sees them right? They are not the abusive type. They take good care of you. They take care of their families. They do house chores. And they cook. 

I've known them for quite some time already. It's funny how we were all strangers. From strangers we became friends. Close friends. And probably end up being together. No one knows what future holds. Right?

I've been in a relationship for more than three years. Well those who knows, knows. Obviously. But for those who don't, well now you know. I've been a bad girlfriend. Haha. I'm being honest. Judge if you want. Haha. We're all different. You are you. And I am me. I'm not the romantic kind of girl nor am I creative. I'm practically nothing la okay. Haha. I'm not the super clingy type of girlfriend who must see their boyfriend every single day. Nah I'm not like that. I wouldn't say I'm the caring type of person too. My boyfriend thinks I care for my friends more than I care about him. Well I agree with that. -.- But hey, I tried to care more. He really cares about me more than I do. He gives more than I do. But not for me. You know how people say in a relationship you give and take. I basically just take without giving. I mean I do give la. But not as much as compared to him. I've been a pathetic girlfriend right? Just say yes, you are very pathetic cam.

For the past three years, we.... Okay. Let just put it this way. We don't act like we're a couple. We don't do what couples do. He wants to do what couples do. But not me. I have no freaking idea why. I just don't want. I know it's my problem. It has always been my problem after all. I'm just bad at relationships. Lol. 

So last Friday, which is the 10th of January 2014. I went out with my bro (he's my senior) and another friend of ours. I was telling them about my relationship. They knew who I'm with but they didn't know that we've broken up. So I told them. And I told them how I don't like doing this and that. 

Guess what my psychology bro told me?

You don't even love him! I was like uhh.. I don't love him meh. HAHA. Maybe he's right la. It's not the love love kinda thing.

I was also telling them that I might regret if we really stop. Like stop stop. We'll never be friends again? That's something that I don't wish to happen. I want us to be friends even though we're not together. Cannot become couple then become friends la. Lol. My other senior was telling me that feeling regret is for sure. You'll definitely regret. But you just have to learn from it and not doing the same mistake over again. Think carefully before you decide whether or not you want to continue this relationship. (We were thinking of getting back together) My senior asked me to think carefully. If I were to go with this decision, what will happen? Vice-verse. Which one over-weigh which one. Then I'll have my answer. 

Honestly, me and my ex are much more happier when we broke up. We still talk, go out and laugh. I can feel that we're much more happier. Well at least for me. It's best for him too. I don't want to waste his time. That's just unfair. I guess I have a tendency of not letting go of some things. I guess I'm used to his existence that I don't want to let go. And that is obviously not love anymore. That's too dependent. But I'm really that that although we're through, we're still friends. We both agree that we have this special bond that indescribable. We probably were siblings/couples the life before. HAHAHA.

Now as for the second one, I think we like each other at around the same time. He is a very nice guy. He loves to laugh. Even the slightest things, he'll also laugh. He's one happy go lucky guy. 

I wouldn't say much about the second guy. Yet.

I guess that's all.

Till next time.

Xoxo.

PS: I probabaly missed out something. I'll edit if I remember. Hehe