Is it important?

Hello people. I am back again.

I have been thinking. Is grading very important?

I came across this recently. I got back my assignments few days ago. I did okay for all my assignments. I passed everything.

However, my friends got higher grade than me in one of the assignments. Honestly, I felt sad. I really do. I know that I shouldn’t be sad because I passed this assignment and it was my first assignment. But then deep inside my heart, I am sad. I want to get higher grade also. I mean who wouldn’t want to get higher grade? But what’s the point of competing with your friends? What am I trying to get out of this? The fact that I passed this assignment is already good enough. Am I being greedy by expecting more from myself? Or should I push myself further? In the end, as long as I graduate that’s all that matter.

Is grading really that important? Or is it something else that matters more? 

No doubt that when you get good grades, you’ll feel happy and exhilarated. What if you didn’t get the grade you want to? But then you passed that particular exam or assignment. Shouldn’t you feel happy that you passed this particular assignment rather than having this thought of not obtaining a better grade?

I couldn't help myself but to feel sad and helpless that I did not get better grade. I know it’s normal for people to think that way. Well, at least I think it is normal and I’m pretty sure most of the people out there think the same way. But I don’t want to think this way. I am happy enough that I pass everything. As long as I learn something out of it and pass everything, it is already good enough. Why am I expecting so much from myself? Well, I should. But hey. This is my first year in University. This is my first year doing assignments. I know I can do better next time and I will. Isn't the motivation and encouragement weigh more than grading?

I feel happy for my friends who did well in their exams and assignments. I really do. But the fact that I did not do as well as they did, makes me think that I am that "small" around them. Does this make sense to you? I know I shouldn't feel this way. But I just cannot help it. I am not them. They are not me. I am me. And they are them. Why do I have to compare myself to everyone else out there? Everyone is unique in their own way. They have their own talents. Why should I be affected by how they do in their exams and assignments? As long as I know that I am more capable than I used to, isn't it good enough already?

I don't know what I am trying to get out of these. But yea. I just want to say out how I feel or think. No offense to anyone who disagrees with this.

Till next time. Lights off.

Xoxo.

.

Hello people.

I am back for another blog post. This time around, I will be blogging about what I have been doing for the past few days.

I went to the Lazy Sunday event again. I really love going there. Last Sunday, we made bracelets from rubber bands. It was easy. I never knew it would be that easy. Haha. I posted a picture of the bracelet that I made on Facebook and on Instagram. Haha. Asian much. I am proud of myself le! It’s my very own handmade bracelet le. Haha. I wonder where they buy those rubber bands. Hehe. Going to get some myself and make more bracelets!

After making the bracelet, we played this game called Articulate. It’s a game where you have to describe the word, without saying it out. For example, hare. In another word, hare is a rabbit. You’re not allowed to say hare, but you can say it’s a rabbit. Then you have to guess it’s a hare. It also depends on whether the word is an action, world, people, random or something else. People and world are difficult. Seriously. I don’t know many of them. Haha. Neither good at people nor places. BUT. In the end, we still win! Me and another friend. Sorry I don’t know her name but yea, we’re a team. Hehe. It was a good game.

In my previous post, I said that I had a bad week. During one of those days, I decided to head to Coles and Woollies and get some ingredients for my brownies. I needed to bake. I searched YouTube on how to make brownies. I followed Laura in the kitchen’s recipe and bake brownies. It was very easy to make. It turned out to be pretty good too. It was my first time making brownies and I am a happy girl. Well, not really at that time, but it certainly lifts up my spirits.

That's all for now. Stay tune for another update.

Xoxo.

The lowest that I have ever been

Yes, the title said it all. Last week was bad. Things weren’t going smoothly as I want it to be. My laptop crashed on me. I don’t know what happened but it’s getting really laggy. The speakers wouldn’t work. I had to plug in the earpiece to be able to listen to the sound. When I connect the able of my phone, USB and hard disc, the icon wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t transfer my photos into the laptop and into my hard disc. I couldn’t transfer my folders into my hard disc. I couldn’t do anything. If I were to reboot my laptop, I will lose everything. I didn’t even have the chance to back up my assignments because the icon from the hard disc wouldn’t come out. I was lost. I had no idea what to do. I was devastated. Another thing, there’s no more Wi-Fi available for me to Skype with Daryl. I mean I still have Wi-Fi. But the connection speed is very slow. I had to go to the library to use the internet. The weather is getting colder each day. It’s not far to walk to the library from where I stay. But the fact that it is so cold outside, it really restrain me from walking to the library even just for that short distance. I was so sad. I lost my sense of direction. The world just collapse on me. Okay. I exaggerate. The world didn’t collapse on me. But I really lost my sense of direction. I was lost for words. I was really quiet. I was not me. I was depressed.

I cried and cried and cried. Starting from Monday. I cried so hard. Breathing became difficult. The last time I remember crying this hard was when my grandma passed away. Piles of things happen, one at a time, I couldn’t take it all and I just break down. Crying was the only solution. Well, it’s not a solution but I just feel like crying it out. I need to let it all out. I just had to.

I had no one to talk to. I mean I have. But I did not say it out. I kept it to myself. In the end, I told Daryl and I felt much better. Once again, I am a happy girl. Things got better now. This made me realise that I should be grateful and appreciate the things that happened. I mean I am already grateful and I really do appreciate the people in my life. But it made my even happier that I am more than grateful now. Does this make sense to you? I’m sorry if I confuse you. My point here is, things got better, I am happy and I am more grateful than I used to be.

Let’s pray that things get better each day. Be grateful and appreciate. 

That's all for now.

Xoxo.