The lowest that I have ever been

Yes, the title said it all. Last week was bad. Things weren’t going smoothly as I want it to be. My laptop crashed on me. I don’t know what happened but it’s getting really laggy. The speakers wouldn’t work. I had to plug in the earpiece to be able to listen to the sound. When I connect the able of my phone, USB and hard disc, the icon wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t transfer my photos into the laptop and into my hard disc. I couldn’t transfer my folders into my hard disc. I couldn’t do anything. If I were to reboot my laptop, I will lose everything. I didn’t even have the chance to back up my assignments because the icon from the hard disc wouldn’t come out. I was lost. I had no idea what to do. I was devastated. Another thing, there’s no more Wi-Fi available for me to Skype with Daryl. I mean I still have Wi-Fi. But the connection speed is very slow. I had to go to the library to use the internet. The weather is getting colder each day. It’s not far to walk to the library from where I stay. But the fact that it is so cold outside, it really restrain me from walking to the library even just for that short distance. I was so sad. I lost my sense of direction. The world just collapse on me. Okay. I exaggerate. The world didn’t collapse on me. But I really lost my sense of direction. I was lost for words. I was really quiet. I was not me. I was depressed.

I cried and cried and cried. Starting from Monday. I cried so hard. Breathing became difficult. The last time I remember crying this hard was when my grandma passed away. Piles of things happen, one at a time, I couldn’t take it all and I just break down. Crying was the only solution. Well, it’s not a solution but I just feel like crying it out. I need to let it all out. I just had to.

I had no one to talk to. I mean I have. But I did not say it out. I kept it to myself. In the end, I told Daryl and I felt much better. Once again, I am a happy girl. Things got better now. This made me realise that I should be grateful and appreciate the things that happened. I mean I am already grateful and I really do appreciate the people in my life. But it made my even happier that I am more than grateful now. Does this make sense to you? I’m sorry if I confuse you. My point here is, things got better, I am happy and I am more grateful than I used to be.

Let’s pray that things get better each day. Be grateful and appreciate. 

That's all for now.

Xoxo.