Is it important?

Hello people. I am back again.

I have been thinking. Is grading very important?

I came across this recently. I got back my assignments few days ago. I did okay for all my assignments. I passed everything.

However, my friends got higher grade than me in one of the assignments. Honestly, I felt sad. I really do. I know that I shouldn’t be sad because I passed this assignment and it was my first assignment. But then deep inside my heart, I am sad. I want to get higher grade also. I mean who wouldn’t want to get higher grade? But what’s the point of competing with your friends? What am I trying to get out of this? The fact that I passed this assignment is already good enough. Am I being greedy by expecting more from myself? Or should I push myself further? In the end, as long as I graduate that’s all that matter.

Is grading really that important? Or is it something else that matters more? 

No doubt that when you get good grades, you’ll feel happy and exhilarated. What if you didn’t get the grade you want to? But then you passed that particular exam or assignment. Shouldn’t you feel happy that you passed this particular assignment rather than having this thought of not obtaining a better grade?

I couldn't help myself but to feel sad and helpless that I did not get better grade. I know it’s normal for people to think that way. Well, at least I think it is normal and I’m pretty sure most of the people out there think the same way. But I don’t want to think this way. I am happy enough that I pass everything. As long as I learn something out of it and pass everything, it is already good enough. Why am I expecting so much from myself? Well, I should. But hey. This is my first year in University. This is my first year doing assignments. I know I can do better next time and I will. Isn't the motivation and encouragement weigh more than grading?

I feel happy for my friends who did well in their exams and assignments. I really do. But the fact that I did not do as well as they did, makes me think that I am that "small" around them. Does this make sense to you? I know I shouldn't feel this way. But I just cannot help it. I am not them. They are not me. I am me. And they are them. Why do I have to compare myself to everyone else out there? Everyone is unique in their own way. They have their own talents. Why should I be affected by how they do in their exams and assignments? As long as I know that I am more capable than I used to, isn't it good enough already?

I don't know what I am trying to get out of these. But yea. I just want to say out how I feel or think. No offense to anyone who disagrees with this.

Till next time. Lights off.

Xoxo.