She passed away on the 31th of December 2002.
Which is why this date is very important to me.
It's been 11 years coming to 12 since she passed away.
It's the day where I cried so bad as if the world turned me down.
The day where my aunt told me 'stop crying little girl. If you continue crying like this, you might end up blinding yourself'.
She's the one who bought me 3 ice-cream on the same day.
I remembered very clearly of the incident because I was so happy. Ice cream's my favorite. I was over the moon.
She's the one who always buy pau and soi bee for me and my brother.
She's the one living with us for almost a decade.
She made delicious Chinese New Year cookies. Trust me. She is very good at those. I even help her when I was younger. Those times. I really miss those times.
She couldnt remember us soon after. I was so stupid that I told my friends she's crazy. I regretted so much I could kill myself. I can't believe I said that.
On the day she passed away, my uncle who used to always send us back home, tuition, from school and stuffs told me and my bro that my grandma passed away. I couldn't believe it. I choose not to believe.
But obviously my uncle wouldn't lie about things like that.
It's the first time I saw my dad cried.
He couldn't send her off or something because of the Chinese pantang.
I wouldn't forget that situation.
I used to blame our maid (She takes care of my grandmother when she's ill).
I blame her because I think she's the reason why my grandmother is no longer in this world.
I really do blame her.
But as time goes by, I know it's not her fault.
There's no one to be blame.
People come and go.
I'll have to accept the fact that she's no longer here.
But she's now in a better place.
I wanted to just put my finger around her nose to see if she's still breathing. (Like how people does in the movies)
Because I cannot accept the fact that she's forever gone.
You know how some songs reminds you of certain people?
This song 'Huang Hun' reminds me of her.
I don't know why. But it just reminds me of her.
It's been 11 years.
I still miss you.
I really do.
Please pray that we all live in the pink of health, safe and wealthy.
I love you. And forever missing you.
Sincerely,
Your granddaughter.
Xoxo.
Ps: Was suppose to post this yesterday. But I didn't finish this post. So here it is. It's my first post in 2014.
1 comment :
Hello cam I hope you're alright. This post reminds me of my grandmother as well and sure it still does hurts to know that they are no longer here. But I'm glad at the same time that they are at a better place. Aha happy new year. :)
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